Good afternoon eveyone!

It is the first time that I am posting something in the noon, but I couldn't help it!
I am so angry! Since I can't talk it out, I'll settle this out with myself first.

So, you are at work, and suddenly you are given the golden opportunity to climb one level up. Yes, you worked your ash up/played it tricky/manipulated your boss/were just lucky god damnit, and now your are assigned to do something new, in a different but higher position. You have a new team. An they are here to guide you through.
So, time passes by and you are still waiting for people to notice you. To give you some responsibility. You get paid, but you do nothing. Someone might say: "hey, that's ideal" but the truth is that the situation is ideal *at first*.

So when? When will it be your turn to do stuff? When? You thought now, but people are having their meetings behind your back. You are lost, you've learnt nothing and there's nothing you can do.

So you're angry. Yes, you are and so am I! I am so angry and I can't seem to calm myself down no matter what I do. But I must get over it. Should I punch someone? Hmmm, not a good idea.

So, I searched all over the net, and I found the perfect article about how to handle your anger. 14 things you can do. I post it here and I hope that knowledge will spread and spread, and will eventually help some other angry people like myself.

Here it goes:

How to Calm Down

from wikiHow - The How to Manual That You Can Edit

When we are stressed, depressed, or mad, we don't always know what to do. Here's how to cope with strong emotions and calm yourself down.

Steps

1. Gently and quietly, breathe through your nose and back out through your mouth for as long as you're angry or disturbed. If you feel light headed, slowly stop. However, if you are very emotional and breathing too fast, use a paper lunch bag to breathe into to slow your system down.
   
2. Shake your shoulders to release tension.
   
3. Lay down in a safe place. Close your eyes and listen to slow music to take your mind off of emotional pressure. Let all tension in your forehead, neck and hands fade away slowly. Imagine every part of your body relaxing. Start with your head and move downward.
   
4. Take a piece of paper to write logically about what has happened and list steps of action to sort it out properly. After you write it down, shred it and throw it away. It's symbolic of throwing away those feelings you just want to get out.
   
5. Take time to privately relax, meditate, or pray. Great peace comes through purposely focusing on quieting one's being without worrying about distractions of the world.
   
6. Squeeze a stress ball, sponge, or other pliable object at least 50 times.
   
7. Take a walk outside alone. Go to a store or the park or even your backyard! A good breath of fresh air always feels good.
   
8. Hit something, not someone! Kick your sofa or punch a pillow, but never a person or an animal.
   
9. Realize that you can not control what will happen today. Know that you can control how you react to the problems that will happen every day. When you find yourself getting anxious, worried or stressed because life seems to be out of control, pause, take a few deep breaths and then tell yourself a positive affirmation such as: "Life is crazy but I am calm." Repeat this ten times and you will sense calm.
   
10. Carry a picture with you of an image that makes you feel calm in a crazy world. It should have scenes of nature, not people. Some people find images of water very calming. Carry this in your purse, wallet or briefcase, and keep it with you. Whe you sense you are getting anxious, you have the calm image available to look at while using your positive affirmation. Place a calm photo image at your office desk and look at it several times in the day while saying a positive affirmation like "Life is crazy but I am calm."
    
11. Make it a goal to live more and stress less. Remember, you manage your feelings. Don't let your feelings and worry manage you!
    
12. Consider events in your childhood: How has your upbringing contributed to how you react and feel about the world? Think of traumatic, crazy events that occurred between age 5-10 and isolate them. Write them down on a piece of paper, crumple it and throw it out.
    
13. Identify the people in your life who are making you feel like the world is out of control and consider what TV shows, websites and media you view or listen to that make you feel like the world is crazy. Surround yourself with other people who are calm!
    
14. Think about the situation from a different perspective that doesn't result in you being so stressed. Consider the points of view of others around you.
    

Tips

• Try pausing before reacting and breathing before speaking.
  
• If you can not control your emotions at all, seek professional help through a psychologist.
  
• If you work in a stressful environment, ask your employer to offer anger management courses.
  
• When a chaotic event or person confronts you, do not immediately react. Instead, visualize the word "calm" and repeat it internally 3 times before reacting calmly.
  
• Try spending time with a pet or someone who can make you feel better easily, but don't take your anger out on them.
  

Warnings

• Be steady and think twice before you do anything in haste. Calm is steadiness.
  
• Be careful not to take out your anger on others. You'll regret it once you are back to feeling good.
  

Related wikiHows

• How to Be Down to Earth
  
• How to Support Friends When They Are Down
  
• How to Be Calm in a Stressful Situation
  
• How to Stay Calm when Other People Give You the Finger when You're Driving
  
• How to Find Peace
  

Article provided by wikiHow, a collaborative writing project to build the world's largest, highest quality how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Calm Down. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.

Weaklings or Humans Only?

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In general, I like myself. I mean, I do have some things I want to change, but I try to ignore all these and accept me as much as I can.

There are times however, when I know, that if I could just get rid of some annoying sides of me, I would be happier. Really! I'm not talking about 'being a good person for the sake of humanity'. Just for me. So that simple things would stop bothering me.

I will mention one. I have ambitions. Sometimes I think too many. And I wanna be special to people. That is not funny people! I really mean it. I've to have it all! All the attention! And so, when I see someone that feels like a 'threat', I dislike him/her.

Sometimes, I just do that. I dislike people for no apparent reason. Usually there is one of course. But it's something soooo trivial, so 'not huge', that is embarassing to admit. At times like these, I say to myself, that maybe, maybe if I could just get rid of all these stupid feelings and this pettiness, I would be happier! So much happier!

Am I a weakling? Or just human? I wanna ask a few people around me: "do you dislike people who just feel threatening? Do you want reassurance each and every time?". But I guess, even if I asked you, you wouldn't admit that you can think and act like that.

I admit it! I can be selfish, I can be stupid, I can get jealous, I want you to notice only me, I want you to show me that I am special with every little thing you do. I am not a weakling. I'm only human. What about you?

Dirty Little Secret?

I must admit I find myself a little confused about matters of love. You will find me admitting that quite often I guess...
But honestly, have you ever had a love that embarrassed you? Hey, I'm not talking about lust people! That's not the only kind of love. I am talking about love complexes.
A love that is not...hmmm, let's say natural! And don't start with "gay" stuff. I am not talking about those either.

How about something bizarre? Something you are ashamed of? Or even cannot understand why?



I've got my own story too. I will share it with little details, since you can never know who is reading your blog these days! I think if I get it out of my chest, that it will trouble me less. I figure I'll write it here. Hopefully, none of you will tell!

So, let's be honest. It's a "he". I'm a "she". Nothing unatural about that heh? He is not a relative, no. He is my mentor though . Ahhh, the classical romantic story. He is the girl's saviour, they fall in love, happy ending!

Well, that's not it. He is older. You want it in years? Come on, he is not a grandparent people! And I am not underaged! But he is a father. He has children. And he did save me in a way.

There was a time, not too long ago, that I was going through a bad, very bad phase in my life. Things were just wrong. I didn't like anything I was doing. I was lost. And it was too late to start climbing back into my life. Or so I thought. He believed in me. Without me proving anything, he convinced me I could do it. Stand back on my feet. If I had patience. I relied on him of course. I felt the support. My friends felt it too. His behavior towards me was different. I felt special. And since he was [and still is] a very important, successful person, people were jealous. And I was happy.

Hapiness is a strange feeling. And I always had a thing for people who knew more than me. Success is always attracting me. He is a strange man of course. Sometimes you think he doesn't pay attention to you. But most of the times, when he does, you know that you can do things. Just because he says so. Yes, he is one of those people who inspire others.

So, in time, I started to notice things about myself. His opinion for starters. I needed his approval so badly! I said to myself: "girl, you are crazy. Nothing is wrong. It's in your head.". But it was not. Because later, I noticed that there were times when I just *had* to see him. I *had* to talk to him. Now, at that time, I began to really worry about myself! And then, the final blow. My heart was beating really bad when I was thinking of talking to him. And when he teased me, I blushed!
Dear God! I never, ever blush!! What the hell? At the time I also started losing my breath, just in the thought of talking to him, I knew things were going out of control.

So I asked myself the question I was afraid the most: "Are you in love with him? Do you want to be with him?". The answer was shocking. "No". No, I had never thought of kissing him [or anything else for the matter]. When I did think about it, I said "ew! gross!I don't want to do anything like that with him!".

And here is the problem. A man is controlling me. I do not want to sleep with him though. So, it isn't love. Nor lust. But I wanna talk to him. And I get so jealous if he isn't adressing me.
So it's a complex I guess? Maybe 'obsession' is a better word for it.

Whenever I think about this thing, I am ashamed of myself. There are times when I can control my mind and heart, but there are other times when my complex is going out in the open! And I'm screaming: "come back here you! you can never go out!".



We all have our own little secrets. Dirty little things, details that we are afraid of showing. We want to get rid of them and live in peace. I'm one of you, so I know what you mean.
But you know what I think? I think that these secrets is what makes us who we are. Who we really are. When you stop pretending that everything is normal, when other people are not around, when you are looking in the mirror and you come face to face with your obsessions, then you see your real self. Yes, this is you. And this is me. I cannot deny it. Neither shoud you.
Don't you find it intriging that you know something about yourself, that no one knows? That you will never tell?

Struggle silently with your obsessions, with every complex that you have. Be free from them, or not. But believe that each one of the people around has also a secret. Something they cannot say.
And try not to be too hard on yourselves. Come out of the closet! Embarrassed much? So what?

Ninet

Bored ... bored and bored

These last few days are definately NOT my favourite...
I have tons of things to do!! So much work but unfortunately [as you can see from the subject as well] I am bored!!

Oh dear me! How about you? Have you ever had one of those days/few more days/weeks that you just couldn't do a thing? Too many obligations, too little time but you just can't get things going...!

Tell me how you got past this troubled period of yours, and I will post the 5 best ways to survive!
Plus, I will listen and learn from you people! Give me your light!

I'm off for now.
CU 2morrow again,
Ninet

I'm Only Sleeping

When I wake up early in the morning,
Lift my head, I'm still yawning
When I'm in the middle of a dream
Stay in bed, float up stream

Please don't wake me, no
don't shake me
Leave me where I am
I'm only sleeping

Everybody seems to think I'm lazy
I don't mind, I think they're crazy
Running everywhere at such a speed
Till they find, there's no need

Please don't spoil my day
I'm miles away
And after all
I'm only sleeping

Keeping an eye on the world going by my window
Taking my time

Lying there and staring at the ceiling
Waiting for a sleepy feeling

Please don't spoil my day
I'm miles away
And after all
I'm only sleeping

Keeping an eye on the world going by my window
Taking my time

When I wake up early in the morning,
Lift my head, I'm still yawning
When I'm in the middle of a dream
Stay in bed, float up stream

Please don't wake me, no
don't shake me
Leave me where I am
I'm only sleepin...

No Prince Charming?

I think I maybe be one of the few people in this the Univercity (I wont say " in the world " though I sometimes think it) that is NOT interested in relationships.
I am really bored with all this "find someone", "share things", etc. For all I know, I hate sharing!
Let's just say that for the time being this is me!

So, why do you people lecture me about it?! Why should I feel guilty about it? Why, even though I don't want to be involved with my prince charming, I have to justify this fact all the time? I do not have issues. I am in perfect harmony with myself. I don't seem to go around telling every couple "it's ok, you'll definately be free oneday again"! Why should I hear "it's ok, you'll definately find someone. He's just around the corner!"

Ok, thank you for the information...now I can safely stay away from that corner!!

I may exaggerate a bit, but I just want to get the message across. Though people keep talking about freedom of choice and different ways of life, the prejudice still exists: people with no other half, are only half and are waiting for someone to come their way.

We see it in the movies, in the ads, in the love songs, practically everywhere. So it affects us anyway. I also speak for myself actually. I have been in various relationships just because of outside pressure, of various insecurities at the time, and mostly to prove to myself that I didn't have any 'problem' that made me different from others and didn't let me commit.
Well, the length of those relationships just proved me that I should have been honest with myself in the first place. I shouldn't have done something that I knew was wrong.

So ok, I prefer going shopping alone, I like having coffee with my friends, I love to draw anything that gets my attention, I like playing my guitar alone in the dark, read my books, doing sports, programming in Java and singing aloud in the bathroom!
What's wrong with that?

We should do what we want. We should express ourselves in any way we want. Don't waste your time living the lives of other people just beacause you are afraid to live your own. Do you want to be single? So be it! Do you want to find someone special? Well, go on! What are you waiting for?

You know, someday your prince charming will come. Oh, what about mine you say? Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions! :)
Till he comes, I'll just keep hanging around, having fun and surprising the world!

We'll be in touch friends.
Until then, have a wonderful evening!

Hello World!

Well, hello, hello!
This is my first try as a blogger, so try to be patient people.
I will learn in time...I think.

Consider this a 'test post'. I am actually pretty tired to write something with meaning, so instead, I'm just sending my greetings to everyone in the blogsphere.

Nice to be around.
Till tomorrow, everyone please take care!
[I don't mean to sound like your grandmother, but please do. We do not pay enough attention to ourselves these days I think :)]