I'm sorry

I'm sorry friend, that I can't seem to find my way out of this. I'm sorry I keep hearing voices having fun around me, excluding me. 

I'm sorry I make you miserable, but I feel so angry. What can I do with so much anger inside? I swear I can hear them right now. The walls are so thin. I keep hearing the footsteps as well. Why can't they stop?

I don't want to listen and I don't want to see anymore. I want nothing. It's been two weeks, I'm supposed to be at my best. Is this it? My best. 

I'm sorry friend, that I'm using you again as a punching bag. You must be tired, trying to manage everything all the time. If only I could understand what I'm doing wrong then I could become better for you. 

This place is wet. I don't feel missed. I feel empty, on my own. I don't think anyone really cares about me, so in turn I can't really care for you. I feel abused and so abuse is the only thing I can give you.

I'm sorry friend that I am so small. I'm sorry, you deserve someone better for sure. I'm small, pathetic, needy, weak, scared and rusty to the bone. I can't function well my friend, and I'm sorry. I promised you I'd get better but I keep failing you, and I'm sorry.

I'm sorry friend, please forgive me. I'm so sorry.