For starters, I'd like to NOT to talk. Can I just disappear? Pretty please...
So here I go. Where am I? Why am I even here? This is not my talent obviously. So why? Why do we keep doing things that don't come of easily? Is it in the human nature to be a masochist? I keep asking myself, why am I following the road I'm following.
"I feel stupid...oh so stupid, I feel stupid and stupid and plain!"
Has that occurred to you at all? A job, a school, an occupation that you keep doing every day, is it what you really want to do? Today, we had a group gathering where two colleagues exhibited their current work. And I felt yet again, so misplaced. What am I doing here? Really? Why am I here? The room felt too small, the people too many and I couldn't breathe. I just wanted to go in some dark corner and cry. Disappear, vanish. Just go away. All of you.
What is wrong with me anyway? Not smart enough? Not witty enough? Not interested in these stuff enough? I think, I just don't belong here. I'm having a hard time understanding whether I'm not fit to be here or I'm only feeling miserable on my own. Where is that line? I can't see it...I should be able to see it, but I don't.
I feel so small. If I had a wish, to change it all, what would I do with it? I don't know. And I keep wondering what am I doing here? I'll close this up with a single verse from a song that stuck with me, and reminds how much I want a chance for change...
Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky, are like shouting stars? I could really use a wish right now...wish right now...
