It is one of the things I often say, that most people assume that it is a big deal to not give up and keep on going, but what I find equally difficult is the knowing of when to do the exact opposite: when to give up.
With all these motivational quotes and blogs going on, I think we have quite forgotten that giving up (or letting go, or just stop) is an art. And it is extremely difficult. You have a lot of things getting in your way: your ego for starters. And ignoring your ego is not an easy thing to do. Mainly because we are taught to believe that things worth having, are worth fighting, and consequently you are a coward when you let them go. I think one misconception is because it implies that you have limitations, that you cannot change the outcome, so ultimately it is because *you* lack in something, that you are letting go.
But what if we lack more when we refuse to give up? Vain persistence in a situation that is not paying off should be pointless, by strict logical thinking. Not giving up is actually part of the "casino misfortunes" where people insist on betting more, even when they are continuously losing. So why keep the game on?
I use this blog mostly for my romantic failings in life as a sort of diary, to unwrap my thoughts and maybe get rid of them. Thoughts that get turned into words stay on this page and out of my head. This post is not an exception. I am experiencing another 'misfortune' in romance. I have currently activated the "GTHO" code. Which in my lingo means "Get The Hell Out" of this situation code. Since I'm only in the beginning, this is me having a hard time of disengaging myself from that horrible other person and social media is really not helping me at all. A few years earlier it was easier to put some distance, but these days I find it nearly impossible. While in this constant battle with myself, as if keeping a distance was not enough of a problem already, I have my brain telling me that I am giving up because I was "not enough" apparently. I am a loser to state it plainly, because I was rejected (well, actually I wasn't - I was stuck in the go back-and-forth situation, hot-and-cold, or any other way you wanna call it). This whole thing got me thinking: why am I even questioning myself, or feeling less as a person for letting go? Or trying to anyway? The "run for your life" signs were there all along - I ignored them obviously, because well, this is what people engaging in romance apparently are trained to do - and I didn't do what I had to do at the time I was supposed to do it. And that is run to the opposite direction! Instead, I chose to stay and fight, while showering in hot or cold water, depending on the mood of the dude in question. Judging the progress I made today minus the no-progress that I made yesterday and classifying the outcome as positive or negative. And obviously hearing to a random 'pling' at the phone, was enough to yank me and make me internally scream "it's him it's him". Only it was not. Or sometimes it was. But does it really matter?
Great. No wasted energy at all.
I began regaining my senses this Sunday - and started judging me for this impossible behavior. Have I really not grown at all? So I said to myself, you need to let it go. It's time. Before you start crawling on the floor. You owe yourself this much.
So here I am. Half-miserable, half-desperate, trying to let go. And if you are here as well, asking yourself if you should try to let go as well, then just do it. Because you wouldn't be asking this question at all if you could escape it.
So here I am. Urging you to give up. Urging me to give up. Don't give in, just give up. It simply is not worth it.
