I do not love often I must say. I like watching people going on with their lives, but I rarely feel the need to participate in it.
Truthfully, I am like the audience in a theatre - constantly watching - making a review at the end of the play - but never act myself.
But I did love you, I did.
Always giving pieces of myself, always waiting for something in return. I think I am being punished for being such a distant person. For watching from afar.
And I hate myself. I hate myself for depending so much on you. You're so high, I can't touch you. I try, but I can't.
But I do love you, I do.
Tonight I am depressed. Again. Because of you. Again.
I am tired of applauding. I am tired of watching your play. I saw it too many times. You hire new actors, but never me. You always leave me in the audience.
I need to lead. And since you do not let me play in your theatre, I' ll have to find my own.
The blur in my head about what to do next, is clear actually. I know what I have to do. I know my path. I still can't leave you. It pains me so much. But I will do it. I promise.
By next year, I'll be preparing my applications. And I will go away. From you. From everything.
And though I love you, I do. I'll walk on. This I promise you.
[...]
And if your glass heart should crack
And for a second you turn back
Oh no, be strong
Walk on, walk on
What you got they can't steal it
No they can't even feel it
Walk on, walk on...
Home... hard to know what it is if you've never had one
[...]
Walk on, walk on
Leave it behind
You got to leave it behind
All that you fashion
All that you make
All that you build
All that you break
All that you measure
All that you feel
All this you can leave behind
All that you reason
All that you sense
All that you speak
All you dress-up
All that you scheme...
//If anyone of you is looking for a song to hold on... there it is :)
// U2 - Walk On
